This month, I hit a milestone in life, the Great Dividing Range between being young and – not-so-young.
Am I living my life on my terms? Yes, I am. No longer am I wide-eyed entering the journey of life, full of euphoric energy ready to take anything on, I am now on the switchback trail, taking a break now and then to recharge and set-the-tone for what’s around the corner. I am wiser as I take each step but no less excited to experience the views along the way while avoiding the slippery downhill decent.
The Platteklip George Trail rising up to the plateau on Table mountain in Cape Town is what I am reminded of as the journey is worth the effort and provides a broad plateau from which to linger longer before choosing how to descend.
I’m alive! I made it this far, probably shouldn’t have, yet I’m healthy and I’m (realtively) fit. I’ve enjoyed an incredible life, filled with experiences captured in memories, photo albums and an overflowing cloud storage – I’m blessed for living a life less ordinary compared to so many. I have a beautiful family to keep me on my toes, I’ve been able to transform myself from wanderlust traveller to busy corporate exec to a devoted mother, movement & wellness coach. I have a happy and lovely home, marriage and healthy kids. I rarely visit a doctor and don’t take any pills. I don’t feel 50 and don’t act 50.
I haven’t started to go grey. Yet.
I’m turning 50 during Covid-19! Therefore, almost all celebrations have been cancelled or postponed – I should be writing this after returning from a three-night stay at Eden Health Retreat… I’ll be celebrating with my family and rescheduling my plans with friends – and there will be no drowning of sorrows.
It literally makes my belly flip at the thought of saying out loud ‘I am 50 years old’. I was 5 years old when my Grandma turned 50 and I still remember her party. I have an 8-year-old daughter, oh how times have changed.
I have a few regrets – I could have done more, been more, studied more; I have missed some great opportunities and wish I was present and courageous enough to have taken them.
My face – I think everyone would agree, losing the smoothness and suppleness of your skin is hard. When I look in the mirror or at photos of myself, I expect to see someone else and sometimes do a double-take. I look on in envy at young people around me and hope they appreciate what they have, as I never did. You are not fat! (With all the selfie edits they do they will!).
Weight – It is so much harder to keep weight off now! I love food and I love wine and there is the need to either up my fitness or reduce my consumption. I will find the balance in 2020..!
Fifty is just a number, yeah I get it, I’ll enjoy the celebrations (delayed as they may be), I’ll listen to my body and continue to set-the-tone for my life. One of learning, endurance and renewal. I plan to live a long life of quality, I’ll be healthy, vibrant, quirky and continue to live a full life!
I am on a switchback with a view, taking a moment to pause to relax, repair and renew.
I have the opportunity to take life on with gusto and not ambivalence.
Bring on this new exciting chapter.